Every significant change in our life is accompanied by a psychological and emotional transition. Some of these are small, others large. And when so much of our world is changing, all at once, it becomes more important than ever to understand and manage the inner transitions that accompany each change.
Arnold van Gennep discovered transitions in the early 1900s, when he was studying the traditional rites of passage associated with big life-changes such as marriage, death, and the shift from childhood into adulthood. He realised that we never go directly from ‘State A’ to ‘State B’. There is always a third, intermediate state in which we have lost our old identity but not yet taken on the new one. He called this intermediate phase the ‘Liminal Zone’ after the Latin word limen, meaning ‘threshold’.
Getting married provides a good example.
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The Three Stages of Transition
The first stage of transition is called Separation. Here we know that change is coming and we start to come to terms with the idea that we will take on a new identity. We begin to separate from the life we used to have. In marriage this period is called the Engagement.
The second phase is the Threshold or liminal zone. This is the Wedding Ceremony itself. Here we cross the threshold and officially become ‘married’. But we aren’t yet fully married in the sense we will be in a few years’ time. At this point, our old world has gone but the new world has not yet fully arrived. So this liminal or Threshold zone marks a period of uncertainty and creation: it is the chrysalis between the caterpillar and the butterfly.
And the third stage of transition is called Consolidation. Here we design and assemble the building blocks of what ‘being married’ is really going to mean for us: for who we are, how we behave, and how the world behaves back towards us. This is where the work of becoming ‘married’ truly begins. Traditionally this starts with the Honeymoon.
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We have all lived through these three stages of transition many times. Every time we started out at a new school, a new job, or moved home we first had to get used to the idea that our old life was ending (‘Separating’ from the way things used to be). Then we crossed the ‘Threshold’ into the uncertainty of a new beginning. And finally we worked to ‘Consolidate’ and build the next stage of our life.
When we were confident about these inner transitions, the outer changes in our lives happened smoothly and easily. When were we nervous or uncertain, the outer changes in our lives became more difficult.
This time of massive change that we are living through means that changes and transitions are happening almost constantly — either for us or for the people around us. So the better we can understand these transitions, the better we will be able to manage them, and the smoother and more successful the changes in our lives will become.
When did you last experience a significant change in your life? Looking back, can you recognise the periods of Separation, Threshold, and Consolidation? Would it be useful for you (or the people around you) to be able to manage this process more smoothly next time?
Adapted from The Churning, Inner Leadership: a framework and a set of tools for building inspiration in a time of change.
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Photo adapted from Walter via StockPholio.net