Sigmund Freud said that bad things happen in our childhoods, which then upset us when we are older.
Carl Jung said that everything in nature is for a purpose: if it happens then there must be an evolutionary benefit. So bad things happen in our childhoods (different things for different people) because when we are adults they remind us what we care about the most. They show us what we want to build instead.
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
The past doesn’t define where we want to get to, it merely defines where we are starting from.