Unwanted emotions can be useful


When we are churning inside we can often feel anger, frustration, fear, or sadness. Even emptiness and numbness. But these emotions can be transformed.

When we know how to centre and ground ourselves, how to focus on who we are and what we want instead of the current situation, then we can transform these emotions into something that will help us change the situation:

  • Anger and frustration can be turned into passion:
    Energy to change whatever we are angry about.
  • Fear can be turned into courage:
    Fear is just an imagined response to something that hasn’t happened yet. It is False Evidence Appearing Real. Courage is about feeling that fear and doing it anyway: Face Everything And Rise. There may be real risks we need to plan for and take actions to address but feeling fear while we do so is optional.
  • Sadness, emptiness, and numbness can become joy and a feeling of being fully alive:
    Sadness is about loss. Feeling sad is a signal that we have lost something important to us. If we get clear on what that is then we can grieve, acknowledge the loss, and let it go. Then we can focus on rebuilding what we need in new ways. This is what brings us joy: not the finding but the seeking.
    Joy and exhilaration are not static states they are a process of achievement. Joy is not lying on a beach it is splashing in the waves or skiing down a mountain. Flow comes when we lose track of time: it is not standing, waiting for the kettle to boil but working to achieve whatever you have decided is the most important thing for you.

Aliveness comes when we work to achieve meaningful goals. Sadness provides a focus to know what those goals are. Anger provides the energy to achieve them. Overcoming fear provides the determination to try.

The emotions we sometimes feel during these times of churning are not who we are. They are simply inner signposts showing us that we want something different from what we have right now. Our feelings are urging and encouraging us to find what that is and then to make it happen.

Unwanted emotions point us to what we care about, and enable us to achieve it.

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