Not knowing who we want to become

Signpost indicating all directions in the world. Schiphol airport, Amsterdam, the Netherlands, about 1937.

A time of change can bring us problems and opportunities. But even when we see them clearly, the uncertainty of a changing world means we sometimes find ourselves stuck: unable to decide how best to go forward. There are three main reasons for this.

The second of these is when we don’t know who or what we want to become. We haven’t chosen a destiny for ourselves and so all ways forward seem equally irrelevant.

If we find ourselves in this situation we can use the tools from several chapters of Inner Leadership to bring us more clarity:

  • The tools of Chapter 1 enable us to centre and ground, connecting more deeply with what matters most to us
  • The tools of Chapters 2 and 3 help us to think around the situation, bringing a better sense of what the alternatives are and which we find more and less attractive
  • Chapter 5 will show us how to find our purpose and values, bringing long term guidance and direction in any situation
  • And the tools of this Chapter 4 not only bring us deeper clarity on what matters most to us but also an analytical tool for choosing between options

In a time of churning, all ways forward can seem difficult. Doing the work to get clear on who you are and who you most want to become can be a big help in choosing the way forward that is right for you. That can not only get you unstuck but also bring you the energy and enthusiasm to keep going — essential in a time of change.

Can you remember a time when you knew exactly how to move forward from a tricky situation? Was that because you knew exactly what outcome you wanted to create?

Is there a decision you are struggling with now? Would it help to get clearer on the details of the outcome you want to create for yourself, and why and how?

Adapted from Inner Leadership: tools for building inspiration in times of change.

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