Not knowing who we want to become

A time of change brings us new problems to deal with and new opportunities for moving forward. But even when we can see options, the newness and uncertainty of a changing world mean that we can sometimes find ourselves getting stuck. There are three main reasons for this.

The first reason is called overthinking. The second is when we aren’t clear about who or what we want to become because we haven’t chosen a destiny for ourselves. Then all options to move forward become equally irrelevant.

If you find yourself in this situation you can use the tools of the other chapters to bring clarity. The tools of Chapter 1 enable you to centre and ground, connecting more deeply with what matters most to you. The tools of Chapter 2 will help you think around the situation, bringing a better sense of which alternatives are more and less attractive. Chapter 5 will show you how to find your purpose and values, offering long term guidance and direction no matter what the situation. And the tools of Chapter 4 can not only bring clarity on what matters most in your life, but also an analytical tool for choosing between your options.

In a time of churning, all ways forward are likely to seem difficult. Doing the work to get clear on who you are and who you most want to become can be a big help in choosing the option that is worth the effort for you.

Adapted from Inner Leadership. Buy the book.

Photo By Nationaal Archief via

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